I Know How You're Operating

Oh Three Days Grace. You read my mind. 

Three Days Grace - Operate

I know how you’re operating

Only come around when you know that I need it

Cut out my heart and you leave me bleeding

But you’re the only one that brings out the demon

Like pills you make me righteous

Like I can rise above it all

Like pills you leave me lifeless

Shaken in a bathroom stall

Why you wanna do this

Don’t want to see you in my phone

Leave me alone

I know how you’re operating

Only come around when you know that I need it

Cut out my heart and you leave me bleeding

You’re the only one that brings out the demon

You bring it out

You bring it out

Like pills you grab a hold of me

One hit just makes me want you more

Until we’re in a motel room

Locked up behind closed doors

Why you wanna do this

Don’t want to see you in my phone

Leave me alone

I know how you’re operating

Only come around when you know that I need it

Cut out my heart and you leave me bleeding

You’re the only one that brings out the demon

You bring it out

You bring it out

You’re doing it now

You’re doing it now

You’re doing it now

It used to be

You brought out the best in me

Now it seems

You bring out the beast in me

I know how you’re operating

Only come around when you know that I need it

Cut out my heart and you leave me bleeding

You are the only one that brings out the demon

You bring it out

(You bring it out)

You bring it out

(You bring it out)

You bring it out

(You bring it out)

You're The Man

This is exactly how I feel right now.

Rev Theory

"Falling Down"

Goddamn, you're the man

Higher than the world around

Goddamn, you're the man

Watch him as he holds you down

Black pants tailored man

All your words are so profound

Black pants superman

With the self-inflicted smile

Stream line so refined

Fell into yourself and drowned

Walk tall, no remorse

I'm about to lose it

Take your money

Take your empty dreams

Break the cycle

Cut the cord that feeds

I'm out here standin' on the

Edge of insanity

So take your money

Take your empty dreams

Cause I'm falling down

Falling down

Cause I'm falling down

Falling down

Goddamn, you're the man

Higher than the world around

Goddamn hypocrite

Acting like you feel concerned

Neck tie, inside's

Darker than the desk you ride

I can't understand

Why you let them do this

Take your money

Take your empty dreams

Break the cycle

Cut the cord that feeds

I'm out here standin' on the

Edge of insanity

So take your money

Take your empty dreams

Cause I'm falling down

Falling down

Cause I'm falling down

Falling down

It's the blow back

It's the premonition

It's the contact

It's the termination

It's the blow back

It's the premonition

It's the contact

Only if you breathe

Only if you breathe

It's the blow back

It's the premonition

It's the contact (Only if you breathe)

It's the termination

It's the blow back

It's the premonition

It's the contact

Take your money

Take your empty dreams

Break the cycle

Cut the cord that feeds

I'm out here standin' on the

Edge of insanity

So take your money

Take your empty dreams

Cause I'm falling down

Falling down

Cause I'm falling down

Falling down

Election Day 2012

This is how I'm going to feel if Obama wins the election:

I had that exact reaction when I found out one of my friends was dating her ex again. And when I got home to find my little sister had gotten hot pocket cheese and muffin crumbs all over the carpet. It's been a Toby-comes-back-from-Costa-Rica kind of day. Go Mitt Romney.

Live for Today

This post is officially my 100th post. Most people write something exciting or post awesome pictures to "celebrate" their 100th post. In light of what happened last night, I decided to write something a little different.

Last night I went to see the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises. My sister had an extra ticket so I went with her. Little did I know that about 500 miles away in Aurora, Colorado an entire theater, much like the one I was in, was in the middle of a massacre. When all those people arrived at the theater they were probably excited. They were going to see Batman. Some people brought their kids. Their significant other. Their friends. Family. Maybe they thought they were lucky to get to be some of the first people to see the movie. They had no way of knowing a cold, evil, psychopath was going to do the unimaginable. He just walked into the theater, calmly stood there, and then unleashed a wave of tear gas and bullets. 70 people injured. 12 people killed. And for what? This mindless act has ruined the lives of so many people, and for no reason at all. Just because a satanic man wanted to feel powerful and cause pain. I will never be able to understand what leads a person to do something like that. Especially how someone can be completely calm while harming so many innocent people. 

When things like this happen it really makes me think about how fragile we all are. God can have us taken at any time. There were two soldiers in that audience. They survived being soldiers, only to be shot in a movie theater in Colorado. It just goes to show that life is short, and you might not get tomorrow. All you can do is live your life to the best of your ability and try to make the best of everything. We are alive. That means we are extremely lucky and we shouldn't waste a second of our lives hanging on to anger, jealousy, hate, or any kind of negativity because every second is precious. We should live our lives feeling grateful and happy just to have today. 

The people who are the best at being happy and enjoying life, even during the bad times, are children. They are pure and innocent. I saw this video today and it made me laugh. These kids are very happy and their happiness is contagious. At least to me. 

Bad things happen all the time. A lot of the time they are senseless. We just have to do our best to try and make the world a better place and try to make the most of the time we have. It's all we can do. 

Drawing With the Moon

Have you ever read the book "Happy Birthday, Moon"? 

If you haven't, you're missing out. That book is one of my all time favorite children's books. I loved it when I was little and I still love it. There is something about being outside on a summer night, perfect temperature with a slight breeze, looking up at the stars and staring at the moon. 

It is the most relaxing thing in the entire world for me. Hearing the wind in the trees and staring out at the huge, open sky. Priceless. Tonight, I thought I would try and get some pictures of some fireworks over the valley and I ended up drawing with the moon and the city lights. 

I tried signing my name using the moon but it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. This is the closest I got:

That last picture reminds me of another children's book called "Sam and the Firefly". Another classic. 

I could've stayed there all night taking pictures but some sketchy guys were coming down the mountain so I decided to leave so my body didn't end up in a ditch. That's one thing that sucks about being a girl.....you can't be out in the wilderness by yourself late at night. Sounds weird but I like being out in the wilderness by myself at night lol. Stupid sketchy men. Anyway, hopefully more awesome pictures to come soon :) 

This One's For the Girls

Fairytale by Sara Bareilles

Somebody That I Used to Know

Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye

I have loved this song ever since the first time I heard it. Until a few days ago I had never really listened to the lyrics. After hearing it on the radio at work at least twice a day, I have the lyrics memorized. That made me realize something. It's as if the song has come from my innermost thoughts. Finally, how I really feel has been made known to me, through a song. Just goes to show you how important music is. 

I Am Very Lucky

These last few weeks have been very eye opening for me. They have been hard, but I am grateful to have gone through what I have gone through. I feel happier than I've been in a while, which gives me hope for the future. I feel like it will only get better from here, and I will only get better. The trials I have been through have already pushed me onto a better path and I know it is God's way of pointing me in the direction I need to go. For that I feel very grateful and blessed to have His guidance. I don't mean to get preachy but I recognize God's role in my life and know I have Him to thank for everything I have. The good, and what sometimes appears to be the bad. In all reality though, all the bad is for our good. Sometimes it's hard to realize that, but it's true. 


I'm in love with Rascal Flatts right now. Always have been, but I always get more obsessed with country music in the summer. Here are some of my favorite songs of theirs right now:

No Reins

Mayberry

Banjo

Here are some quotes that I love right now:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." (The Serenity Prayer)

That quote has really really made a difference in my life. A lot of the time, people are unhappy because they feel like their life is out of control. When you actually think about the situations you are in and realize you can't control them, it brings acceptance and a sense of peace in some way. At least for me. And if you realize you can control it, then you are in the power position to change whatever it is that is making you unhappy. Either way, you can be happy no matter what is happening to you. Everything happens for a reason. 

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. 

That is my favorite scripture of all time. 

I stumbled upon this quote by Marilyn Monroe and ordered a vinyl lettering of it and put it on my wall:

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” 

Also, now that school is over I have had time to work on my art. It makes me happy :) I will probably start posting some of my new stuff soon. I really need to get out and take some more pictures since I haven't done that in far too long. Keep an eye out :) Hopefully I can make it worth your wait. 

Not Everyone Is a Jerk

It's times like these that I have to remind myself that not everyone is a jerk. Today it just feels like everyone I care about is getting screwed over in some way or another by other people in my life. It makes me so angry. All I want to do is make things right, and help the people I care about be happy again. But certain jerks keep making that pretty difficult. If people stopped being so selfish and started caring more for other people, the world would be a better place. 

I know it might sound kinda dumb to say WWJD (aka What Would Jesus Do), but I actually think that to myself sometimes. Jesus would never be an inconsiderate jerk, so neither should we.

All I gotta say is these jerks better stop hurting the people I care about or I might flip out on them.

So here's a goal I'm gonna put out to anyone who might be reading this: Instead of focusing so much on what you want and how you feel, stop for two seconds and try to put you in another person's shoes and focus on how they are feeling as well. It just might change the way you act, in a good way. I think everyone could be a little bit happier that way.

The Most Idiotic Assignment in the History of the World

When I signed up for my History of Graphic Design class, I thought all the homework would be history and graphic design related. I was wrong. Apparently, to my teacher, monkey vests fall under the category of history of graphic design. He came up with the bright idea to force us to make a freakin vest for a monkey like in this picture. 

 Yeah. Retarded.

So here is what I spent literally ALL DAY today making. 

Yes, I made it all by myself. Yes, I sewed it completely by hand. And yes, it is supremely awesome given what it is. I've never sewn anything before so I think I did pretty decent for my first try.

I designed a freaking sweet cubist version of the superman logo a while ago for an idea I had for a drawing but I never ended up using it. I was going to sew it on the back of this but after spending all day on it, I didn't want to waste anymore time on the lamest assignment ever given. 

After he gives it back, (IF he gives it back. He might keep it for a creepy doll collection he possibly has in his basement and tricked us all into making clothes for it.) I am going to give it to my little sister to put on her stuffed monkey. So if he does give it back, I might sew on the logo cause it is quite awesome.

Anyways, enjoy. But don't go thinking I am going to start making clothes for pets or anything and ask me to make a sweater for your dog. This was a one time thing, and once was more than enough.

If You Put a Boot On a Girl's Car, Don't Hit On Her

Once upon a time, I parked in an almost completely empty parking lot in Provo, and came back 2 hours later to find a big, fat, ugly boot on my car at midnight. 

Yay.

So I called the number on the stupid paper on my window, the guy said he'd be there in 10-15 min. 

25 min. later I call him, he said he'd be there in another 10 min.

20 min. after that, he finally pulls up.

He "apologized" for the inconvenience, and then proceeded to hit on me while he charged my credit card $50 bucks
 (which I think is completely excessive, a warning or like a $10 fine would've been understandable. Plus, that was all the money I had gotten back from my insurance company, so that buzz was killed). 

I was dumbfounded. 

Seriously dude, do not hit on chicks after you put a freaking boot on their car and then charge them ridiculous amounts of money. 

I hate Provo.