What Do I Wanna Be When I Grow Up?

It has come to the point, once again, where I hate my job. I no longer work at Park's. I no longer work for My Indoor Air Quality. I now work for Property Solutions; a job that once seemed full of promise and happiness has turned into a place that sucks out my self-esteem and kills my soul. I hate sitting in a cubicle like a robot receiving phone calls from angry people with problems I don't have authority to help them with. I hate the unflinchingly rigid attendance policy that is making me be here even though I'm super sick. I hate having my supervisor forget everything I talk to them about and at times, have them forget I was even at a meeting and then calling me to another one. I hate feeling like a number and a statistic, not a person. I hate getting my phone calls "graded" and failing them for stupid reasons. It's a phone call, not brain surgery. It doesn't matter! They take everything so seriously here when it comes to "protocol" and care more about following that than actually paying attention to what the situation actually calls for on a case to case basis. I am not meant for this kind of work. Every time I'm sitting here in my cubicle trying to convince myself not to storm out and yell "I QUIT!" I try and think about what kind of work would really make me happy. What things do I love doing so much that doing them would make me actually feel good about myself and feel worth the hard work I put in to it? I came up with two things.

1. I love art.
2. I love kids.

Solution: Minor in art education. 

I notice that the only times I am truly happy (besides when I'm with my husband) is when I am working on art, reading about art, looking at art, etc. and when I'm around little kids. I love kids. I can feel myself light up when I see a little child. I am drawn to them. I love talking to them and playing with them and trying to make them laugh. 

People always ask me what I want to do when I graduate and I never have an answer. I never knew what I wanted to do when I "grew up". Now I do. I want to teach art to little kids. I know that would bring me so much happiness. I know I would be good at it. I know that I would feel like I was doing something worthwhile and something that could maybe affect people for the good. I think I am going to add a minor in art education to my degree. It will add some more classes to my load before I graduate but I think it is what I am meant to do. The more I think about it the better I feel. It seems like a positive solution to the crappy situation I am in now. 

I know what I want to be when I grow up. Not many people can say that and I am getting warm fuzzies now that I can, with certainty, say that. I am determined. Wish me luck.

5 am Web Surfing

First post since being married! First post since....well, forever. Kinda been slacking. Lots of interested stuff has happened that I could've posted about but frankly, I've been insanely busy. The only reason I am able to post right now is because I came in to work at 5 am today and it's a Sunday and I have taken a total of 1 phone call in the 2 hours I have been here. Not much to do. So I've been reading Andre Agassi's autobiography "Open" which is fascinating. I love tennis and I miss playing it. I haven't played in about a year at least. Makes me sad. So I got around to looking up the mens singles current rankings trying to see how my man Andy Roddick was doing.

You can imagine the shock that came over me when I found out he has been RETIRED since last year and I had no idea. Like I said on Facebook, I am now dead inside. 

Garrett Helund, however, brought me a little back to life. I watched "Country Strong" last night because I love the music and my husband works graveyard shifts and I had nothing better to do. His voice is amazing. I though he was a professional country artist. Little did I know that he is actually a famous actor and he plays Sam Flynn in Tron: Legacy. What the heck?????

That doesn't even seem like the same person! First of all, the voices sound totally different. Second, he seems like a small little man boy in Tron and a big, strong manly man in Country Strong. This just goes to show how extremely versatile he is. I am in love with his voice. And I am absolutely in love with this song.

I died inside a little bit again when I found out he is dating Kirsten Dunst. I don't know how she is as a person but as an actress I'm not a fan. But if they're happy, more power to them.

That's all I've found out for now. Hopefully anything else I discover will be good things that won't make me die inside anymore.