What Do I Wanna Be When I Grow Up?

It has come to the point, once again, where I hate my job. I no longer work at Park's. I no longer work for My Indoor Air Quality. I now work for Property Solutions; a job that once seemed full of promise and happiness has turned into a place that sucks out my self-esteem and kills my soul. I hate sitting in a cubicle like a robot receiving phone calls from angry people with problems I don't have authority to help them with. I hate the unflinchingly rigid attendance policy that is making me be here even though I'm super sick. I hate having my supervisor forget everything I talk to them about and at times, have them forget I was even at a meeting and then calling me to another one. I hate feeling like a number and a statistic, not a person. I hate getting my phone calls "graded" and failing them for stupid reasons. It's a phone call, not brain surgery. It doesn't matter! They take everything so seriously here when it comes to "protocol" and care more about following that than actually paying attention to what the situation actually calls for on a case to case basis. I am not meant for this kind of work. Every time I'm sitting here in my cubicle trying to convince myself not to storm out and yell "I QUIT!" I try and think about what kind of work would really make me happy. What things do I love doing so much that doing them would make me actually feel good about myself and feel worth the hard work I put in to it? I came up with two things.

1. I love art.
2. I love kids.

Solution: Minor in art education. 

I notice that the only times I am truly happy (besides when I'm with my husband) is when I am working on art, reading about art, looking at art, etc. and when I'm around little kids. I love kids. I can feel myself light up when I see a little child. I am drawn to them. I love talking to them and playing with them and trying to make them laugh. 

People always ask me what I want to do when I graduate and I never have an answer. I never knew what I wanted to do when I "grew up". Now I do. I want to teach art to little kids. I know that would bring me so much happiness. I know I would be good at it. I know that I would feel like I was doing something worthwhile and something that could maybe affect people for the good. I think I am going to add a minor in art education to my degree. It will add some more classes to my load before I graduate but I think it is what I am meant to do. The more I think about it the better I feel. It seems like a positive solution to the crappy situation I am in now. 

I know what I want to be when I grow up. Not many people can say that and I am getting warm fuzzies now that I can, with certainty, say that. I am determined. Wish me luck.

Something to Get Excited About

Today was my first day of school for Winter semester. I am only taking one class, it's a computer design class. Basically we are going to learn all the design software we are going to need to know to be graphic designers. I. Am. Stoked. Once I finally learn all the complicated software I can finally get a graphic design job and do something I actually care about and get all my ideas out where people can see them. I know this might surprise you but I'm not passionate about selling sporting goods online (which is what I'm currently doing). I also found out that we are going to get to do an art show in the HFAC gallery which I haven't done since my 2D class forever ago. I am very excited for that :) I like seeing my work up on the wall. Makes me feel accomplished somewhat. This semester is going to be a very good one :) 

Flatbacks and Paper Cases

I am still in Bookbinding and I am LOVING IT. Some people think it sounds lame, but that is only because they don't know how freakin fun it is. At least to me. And every single other person who has ever taken the class. Here are my latest projects:

Flatback Binding

This book has cloth on the spine and paper for the rest of the cover. This is the most common kind of book, and is also my favorite one to make so far. I will probably make a lot more with this style of binding. 

It has handmade paper stuck on endbands. 

Paper Case Binding

This book was the most expensive to make so far. The cover paper was almost $10 for one sheet that is about 24"x? something. It's called St. Armand paper and it's handmade, which is why it's so expensive. Plus the seashell pendants for the front, the leather, the beads, the special thread for the sewn on endband shown in the last picture, plus all the text paper on the inside. It also took the most time to make this book compared to all the other ones. 

The leather wraps from the back cover around the shells in kind of like an 8 pattern to keep the book shut. 

This is a sewn on endband. I'm not happy with the color of it but I bought the thread without having the paper in front of me so I didn't realize how badly it didn't match. Hand sewn endbands are not nearly as common as stuck on endbands and they add value to the book. 

All my books are completely handmade, other than the closures (leather, seashells, beads) used on the paper case book. I am in love with making books and will probably keep making them for a long time. I have started a shop on Etsy and will start selling books when I have made more. I am too attached to the ones I've made so far since they're the first ones I've made. I have a feeling it's going to be really hard for me to let go of books I make, but all artists have to come to terms with letting go of their creations at one point or another. 

2+2=......5?

It's funny how one little mathematical mistake can change your life. I miscounted the number of classes I have left to take before I graduate. Instead of 9, it's actually 7. Since I'm registering for 3 tonight at midnight, that means after April of 2013, I will only have 4 classes left. I'm freaking out a little bit. 

When you're little, all you think about is the next grade you are going to go into. Then once you're in junior high you think about going into high school. Then in high school you think about going into college. Then once you're in college you think about graduating. What comes next? The real world. Careers. The time where you put everything you've been working towards for the past 20+ years of your life to work. No pressure. 

I can't think about that right now cause it's making me crazy lol. Too much at one time. All I'm gonna focus on is the heinous midterm I have on Friday. Wish me luck :)

Luck O' The Irish

Not many people know that the popular saying, "luck o' the Irish" is an ironic phrase. Since I'm part Irish, that's probably where my sarcasm comes from. "Luck o' the Irish" means bad luck, not good. It comes from history where bad luck kept falling on the Irish people. I have really bad luck with Utah men. I only realized today that every time I see a really, really attractive man on tv or in movies and I look him up, it turns out he's Irish! It's happened enough times to make me realize it's probably not a coincidence. My Irish heritage is probably where this uncontrollable attraction to Irish men comes from. Here are some of their beautiful faces. 

Exhibit A:

Alex O'Loughlin

He was born in Australia, but the name "O'Loughlin" comes from Ireland, so he is of Irish descent. (The Australian doesn't hurt either, they're super attractive too.) 

 He has dark hair and beautiful eyes, plus a gorgeous smile. What more could a girl want?

Exhibit B: 

Colin O'Donoghue

Born and raised in Ireland :) Pictured on the left as playing Captain Hook on the tv show Once Upon a Time. 

Beautiful eyes, beautiful hair, beautiful face. 

Probably a beautiful personality too lol.

Then there are the more well known ones like:

Colin Farrell

Also born and raised in Ireland.  

 I wouldn't mind if my future husband looked like this :) 

And the older ones like

                      Pierce Brosnan

and

                                                                 Liam Neeson

Apparently Ireland just produces a lot of really attractive men. So I have come to a conclusion. After I graduate, which is sooner than I thought it was going to be, I am going to go to Ireland. I have wanted to go for years, so I'm gonna go. I will go and photograph the beautiful landscape and experience the awesome culture and admire the locals lol. Sounds like a pretty good graduation present to myself. And who knows, maybe I'll find a handsome Irish man to marry in a castle :) Only time will tell. 

Books, Books, Nothing But Books

I love bookbinding. Some people think it's lame, but I love it. I recently learned how to make books using the Coptic Binding. We only had to make one book for the assignment but I made two :) The first one took me a while but the second one only took me about 6 or 7 hours total, from scratch. I am proud of myself lol. Here are some pics:

Here's the front of both of them. The first one I made is on the left, the second one is on the right.

This is the side view

This is the back

This is the front inside cover

This is the back inside cover

The next kind of book we are learning how to make is called the Flat Back binding, which is how most books are made. I can't wait :)

You Get What You Pay For......Or Do You?

I am in disbelief right now. As I am trying to force myself for the third day in a row to study for the Contemporary Art midterm I have tomorrow, I am stuck focusing on one thing: my Contemporary Art teacher is a moron. 

I don't say this to be mean. I am stating it as a fact. My teacher is a first year teacher at BYU. She's never taught before, but she teaches three different subjects. She's young, and the more I'm around her I realize she has no idea what the hell she's talking about (excuse my french). Here are some examples:

1. She said Machu Picchu is in Mexico. False. It's in Peru. 
2. She referred to "Gumbi" as "gumbo". False again. Gumbi is a stretchy man and gumbo is a Southern stew or soup.
3. She was teaching us about one of Rene Magritte's paintings that says "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" underneath an image of a pipe and told us it translated to "This is not a penis." 

HUGE FALSE. It translates to "This is not a pipe", which plays off Magritte's idea of no matter how realistic a painting looks, it is not actually the object it is depicting. It looks like a pipe, but it isn't an actual pipe. I don't know how she got to teach at BYU without knowing this BASIC concept from one of the most famous artists there were during the 20th century.  He did a whole series of images based on this idea of "Ceci n'est pas.....". She's a moron. 

If she has gotten all of these things wrong in the 3 times we've had class, I can't imagine what else she has taught us that has been wrong that I haven't caught. What makes me even more mad is that I was signed up for this class for last semester with a teacher I had already had before and really liked, but the time it was conflicted with the class you have to go to before you go on a study abroad. I was gonna do that study abroad in the spring but then ended up not having enough money so I ended up having dropped it for no reason. Then this semester there was only one teacher available for this class so I signed up for it. And now I'm mad at myself, even though I had no way of knowing that my teacher would be such a moron. She is completely unorganized, scatterbrained, rude, and full of herself. She is making me hate learning about art, when normally art history classes are some of my favorite classes. I can't believe I'm paying to learn from her when all she's doing is teaching us false information. I guess this is why I'm so worried about my midterm tomorrow. I could get all the facts right but she might not know they're right so I could get a bad grade haha. But seriously. I'm having such a hard time focusing and studying cause she has given us no real direction of what to study and what is expected of us. I hate this. 

So This Is What Adulthood Looks Like

Oh geez. Facebook is getting kind of obnoxious. Every other day, and sometimes every day, another person posts that they are engaged, or married, or pregnant, or things related to these subjects. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against marriage or pregnancy, but when that is what almost EVERY SINGLE POST on my news feed is about, it gets kind of old. Especially when I am nowhere close to relating to any of those things. Don't get me wrong, I really am happy for all of them. I'm not bitter about it or gonna go cry that I'm not married, I'm just in a different stage of life. I'm sure that once I get engaged, married, and pregnant I'll post all about it all the time too. But it's weird being one of the last ones of my friends not married. Now I gotta make all new friends, cause for whatever reason, married people don't hang out with single people that much. Probably cause like I said, we're in a different stage of life. Oh well. 

I did, however, make a grown up move today. I finally signed the lease to my new apartment after trying to get ahold of the landlord for over a week. 16 days till I move with my sissy poo to good ol' Provo. I'm excited :) But nervous to see what random person gets put in the apartment with us. I'm hoping for either a really weird person or a really cool person. Either way it will be entertaining. And school starts in exactly 3 weeks. Super weird cause it feels like I haven't gone to school in forever. But I'm excited for that too. Finally doing something productive other than working. So now I get to pay for school and rent on top of my car and insurance and all that crap. Yay for being a responsible adult :) I'm glad I can take care of myself. Thanks, Mom, for raising me that way :) 

Killjoy

I know I haven't written in a while. Sorry about that. My advanced writing teacher has killed my desire to write. I used to love writing. I wrote poems, stories, lyrics, beginnings of books on my views on life, etc. Thanks to Professor Miller, however, I no longer find joy in writing. Thanks a heap coyote ugly. 

Today I got a paper back with a grade on it. I knew when I turned in the paper that it wasn't awesome, but I did the best with what I had. "Professor" Miller gave us a paper with a brief explanation of the assignment on it and said "do it" and that was about it. I call her a "professor" because she doesn't teach or expound on anything. All she does is hand out assignment sheets printed on lime green paper and tell us to do them with almost no explanation. I don't see how anyone could get a good grade on these assignments when we can't possibly know what is expected, or really even understand what the assignment is. Anyway, I didn't get that great of a grade and after reading her comments I felt like shiz. She basically wrote an entire page of comments, most of which she used to call me stupid. She didn't come right out and say it, but that's the gist of what she wrote. I have never had a teacher call me stupid before, but let me just tell ya it's not the greatest feeling in the world. 

I have always had problems feeling inadequate at school ever since I started college. Everyone seems so smart and talented that it's easy to compare yourself and feel like you fail by comparison. My mom calls it comparing your weaknesses to their strengths. I'm at the point where I feel like all I have is weaknesses, since apparently I'm stupid and not high enough caliber to be in an advanced writing class at BYU (which she also implied). Teachers aren't supposed to make students feel stupid or hate a subject they once loved. 

I'm sure that once this class is over I will start to like writing again since it won't be graded by an evil wench anymore. Time will tell I guess. 41 days to be specific. I put a widget on my phone to count down the days till the class from Hell is over. 

Other things I'm counting down to:

My 21 Birthday: 117 days

Going to see Hunger Games: 23 days

The end of my best friend's deployment: 320 days (that's a guesstimate)

That's all for now but I'm sure there will be more later. Sorry for the rant but this is my life :) Enjoy

The Silver Lining

Wow I can't believe it has been almost a month since I have written a post. I start a lot of journal entries that way lol. I'm not the greatest at writing when I don't think there's anything interesting to say. The thing is, you can always find something interesting to talk about. The key is finding the person who will find what you're saying as interesting lol. 

My life is pretty monotonous. Work is stressful. School sucks. Family always keeps me on my toes, most of the time in a predictable way though (sounds contradictory but it's not). My advanced writing class is making me hate writing. Academic writing that is, I still love to free write. I am glad that I decided to keep writing a hobby because if I went into it as a career I would despise it, and that would ruin it for me. There is one thing that always makes my day after a crappy day of work and school, and that is The Office. 

When Steve Carrell left The Office it went completely downhill. Nothing about it was funny anymore. However, the last few episodes have made me laugh more than I have in a while. I mean, Dwight has a gigantic monster baby with Angela, Jim pretended like he was murdered by shady people in a hotel room (one of his best pranks EVER), Dwight had appendicitis but stayed in a meeting in hopes of a promotion to the point that he passed out, then went to the hospital, then came back to the meeting right after the surgery. If you have never seen these episodes you may not think these sound very funny, but when you hear the dialogue and see the context of the situations you can't help but literally laugh out loud. 

Also, I have found that I use retail therapy quite frequently lately. Whenever I get super stressed or depressed I buy things. Sometimes it is small stuff, but lately it has been more expensive stuff. I have impulse purchased two jackets, two pairs of jeans, and some new running shoes in the last two or three weeks. I can't help it! But don't worry, sometimes I purposefully leave my wallet where I can't access it when I go places so I won't buy anything. It's effective even though it makes me mad sometimes lol. 

Anways, this is a really lame post but I will have a better one next time :P Hopefully it won't be a month before I write again. 

Getting Out of the Bubble

Traveling is something I have always dreamed about. I watch the Amazing Race and I always think, "Man, I wish I could go somewhere awesome like that someday." Well I finally decided to do something about it. There is a month and a half long Art and Design study abroad in Europe through BYU this summer and I have decided to apply. The majority of it is in London:

But there are also stops in Basel, Switzerland:

Mainz, Germany

Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Edinburgh, Scotland

And Paris, France

Doesn't that seem amazing? The program includes visits to tons of museums and I would get to see all the art I have been learning about in my art history classes IN PERSON instead of in a textbook. 

This seems like the most amazing opportunity ever and I really hope I get in. I have started the application and now all I have to do is write a letter of intent.....guess we'll see how that goes lol. 

The only thing is this costs tons and tons of money. I have put so much effort into being careful with my money and not wasting it. I don't have any student loans and the only debt I have is my car loan which I always make payments on way in advance. I think if I don't try and do this I will regret it. The money will be worth it....if I can come up with $5,600, plus a passport, airfare and cost of food and personal expenses while abroad....

Luckily, my half tuition benefit will be applied to part of it, plus any financial aid I may be lucky enough to get. I have some money saved...and hopefully I can earn enough by the deadline. If anyone wants to donate to the cause I won't turn them down lol. 

I think that at this point in my life, this is the perfect time for me to do something like this. I don't have any responsibilities holding me back right now and I think this kind of experience is just what I need to get out of the rut I've been in for so long. I'm really nervous but also excited at the same time, if I get to go. 

Wish me luck :)

Do the Dew: Retro Style

For my final Illustration project, we got to choose from making a travel poster, a menu for a restaurant (or something with a restaurant, I didn't really pay attention to that part), or redesign a label for a product. I decided to redesign the Mountain Dew label since I probably help fund their company with how much I spend on it. So here is my final design. 

I started out wanting the label to have a graffiti feel, but then I was inspired by Mountain Dew's new Throwback Mountain Dew commercial which helped me get to the final project. 

Here is that commercial:

I hand drew all the line work and the words, and then I added all the color digitally on photoshop and also photoshopped in the nutrition information. 

Anyway, I had a lot of fun working on this assignment and think it's my best work yet for this class. 

Enjoy :)

The Most Idiotic Assignment in the History of the World

When I signed up for my History of Graphic Design class, I thought all the homework would be history and graphic design related. I was wrong. Apparently, to my teacher, monkey vests fall under the category of history of graphic design. He came up with the bright idea to force us to make a freakin vest for a monkey like in this picture. 

 Yeah. Retarded.

So here is what I spent literally ALL DAY today making. 

Yes, I made it all by myself. Yes, I sewed it completely by hand. And yes, it is supremely awesome given what it is. I've never sewn anything before so I think I did pretty decent for my first try.

I designed a freaking sweet cubist version of the superman logo a while ago for an idea I had for a drawing but I never ended up using it. I was going to sew it on the back of this but after spending all day on it, I didn't want to waste anymore time on the lamest assignment ever given. 

After he gives it back, (IF he gives it back. He might keep it for a creepy doll collection he possibly has in his basement and tricked us all into making clothes for it.) I am going to give it to my little sister to put on her stuffed monkey. So if he does give it back, I might sew on the logo cause it is quite awesome.

Anyways, enjoy. But don't go thinking I am going to start making clothes for pets or anything and ask me to make a sweater for your dog. This was a one time thing, and once was more than enough.

The Beginning of Quote of the Day

I'm currently at word 2,214 of a 3,600 word paper about graphic design and I'm going insane. Who has that much to say about one topic? Not me. I'm BSing the crap out of this thing now. But while I've been researching for the paper I found this website that has tons of awesome quotes by or about graphic designers. So I am going to start sharing them as a quote of the day, possibly with an awesome picture, as I see fit. This quote fits perfectly for today.

"Life beats down and crushes the soul, and art reminds you that you have one."

                     -Stella Adler

Enjoy

Three Little Piggies

So my latest Illustration project was to make a book cover. We had a list to choose from and Animal Farm was on the list. Since I'm currently reading Animal Farm I thought I might as well do it. So here is what I came up with.

 

It looks a lot better in person. This is a photograph of it so the colors and texture are completely off. But oh well, you get the point. I painted this with acrylic paint on an illustration board and it is 15x18 or something like that. 

I couldn't come up with a good layout for the text so I just left it off. It isn't exactly the idea I had in my head but it works. 

Anyways, I'm about to take a test so enjoy!

Homage to Vintage Art

Let's face it, without past artists and all their work we would have pretty much no media today. Imagine a world with no images. Can't do it can ya? Probably because media is an overwhelming part of life nowadays. 

Recently my Illustration teacher, Greg Newbold, showed me some vintage art and I think it's awesome. So here is my homage to retro American art. 

This is the work of Coles Phillips. The way he uses negative space and blocks of color to give the illusion of objects is amazing. As you can see from the images I'm putting up, he did a lot of work for magazines.

I love this black and white one; I think it is genius.

I love the colors on this one.

I thought this one was clever. I like the composition and I want those dishes lol.

I love love love this one. Everything about it. If I had a greenhouse or something I would hang it up in it.

And then we have Coby (Coburn) Whitmore. 

This piece is similar to Coles Phillips' work when it comes to color style

But then he has done stuff like this as well, which I love. I just love his style.

And then we have Richard Hamilton. Ever since I saw this piece of his in my art history class forever ago I loved it. 

It's kinda weird but I like the collage feel of it and how random it is. 

And of course, you can't forget Andy Warhol.

I love bright colors, and what is Andy Warhol but bright colors?

Respect the past, cause without it we wouldn't have a future. 

Anyways, enjoy!

Uphill Both Ways

You know how old people say, "When I was your age, I had to walk to school in the snow, uphill both ways!"

And you know how you would always laugh and say, "Oh silly Grandpa, that's not possible. Go take your meds." 

 Well guess what. It IS possible, and I can prove it. "How?" You may ask. Well it's because I do have to walk to school uphill both ways. I took pictures on my walk from school back to where I have to park out in the boonies to prove it to ya. 

Here is where the walk began.

Today was a chilly, yet gorgeous day. 

This gorgeous view makes waiting at the crosswalk in the freezing cold totally worth it.

After walking across that street, you look to the right and see this:

 

But instead of getting to walk on the beautiful, flat path I get to hike up Hill #1:

Which is essentially, three flights of stairs. I hate these stairs mainly because they are too short to take them one at a time, yet too wide to take two at a time. So the options are to take lots of little baby steps or fewer really long steps which are basically uphill lunges. Either way, you get a good workout.

Once you get to the top, you get to walk down Hill #2.

 

I took this once I got to the bottom. But this is how it looks when you are about to go up it on the way to campus. It's not super steep or anything but a hill is a hill. 

Here are some pictures I took walking down the hill.

That is on the left when I walk down.

Ain't it perdy?

On the way to school, I go up this hill and down the stairs. When I go back, it's the other way around (obviously).

So I made my point about the uphill thing, but I took a bunch more pictures on the rest of my way home because today was gorgeous.

This is the view from where I park every day.

Even though I've lived in Utah my whole life I'm still amazed at how gorgeous the mountains are.

I live basically on a mountain. So to get up the mountain, you have to go uphill. Yep, more hills. I took this while driving when I was about halfway up.

Where that huge cloud is is basically my backyard. 

Here's another shot of it. I think it looks awesome:

This is as far up as I go, right before I turn:

And here is the last stretch of road before I get home:

Here is the view from my front porch:

You can't really tell but it was snowing when I took this. 

And here is a pic of my backyard,  when it was also snowing. You can see it better in this pic.

I am lucky to live somewhere so gorgeous. 

This is my favorite time of year so I hope you enjoy these pictures as much as I do :)