The Golden Rule

Alright. I need to get something off my chest that has been bothering me for a while. I am going to discuss equality. I want to start off by saying that I am completely accepting of all races and all religions. I want to make that very clear before I say what I need to say. I am not racist in the slightest and I feel that everyone has the right to choose what religion, if any, they want to be a part of. If you choose not to have a religion that's great too because that's your choice and I don't judge you in the slightest. You know why? Because I don't want anyone judging me for how I choose to live my life. It's called the Golden Rule people, do unto others as you would have them do. 

I am getting pretty sick of everyone trashing mormons. We are not brainwashed. We are not a cult. We do not practice polygamy. We are, in fact, Christians despite popular belief. We have our own minds and we do what we think is right. We don't simply do things because the church says its right and follow along blindly. We have our agency and we use it to make up our own minds. My sister is living out in Oregon right now and people are constantly asking her why she doesn't smoke and stuff like that. It's not because she thinks she's better than anyone because she doesn't smoke and they do. It's because she has made a personal choice not to, and people should respect that. Those people don't want her telling them not to smoke and openly judge them for it, so they should stop judging her for not doing and continually pressure her to smoke. It's ridiculous how so many people don't see that they are doing to other people exactly what they complain about people doing to them. It infuriates me actually. STOP BEING HYPOCRITES!!!

The second thing I need to vent about is racism. It is getting pretty old how people are racist against Caucasians, yet it isn't seen as racism. There is Black History Month every year. There were Latinos in Action at my high school. And there are constantly movies released that have an all African American cast. Is there a Caucasian History Month? No. Because people would get sued until the day they died for suggesting it. Are there Caucasians in Action groups in schools? No. Because that would be "racist towards all other races" according to society. Are there movies that are purposefully made with an all Caucasian cast? No. Because that would be "discriminatory" and "unacceptable". I don't get why it's okay for people to be racist against Caucasians. We are still a race, and people are discriminatory against us. People talk about wanting equality all the time, but often they are the ones causing the inequality. 

Anyway, that's all. 

Do the Creep

I like to watch people. Don't worry, it's not in a creepy stalker way. Even though my old roommates and I would creep on the guys in the building across from us when they would have their blinds open. If you're walking around shirtless with rock hard abs and your blinds wide open you obviously want people to look at you. We were just obliging :) Lol anyway, I am super fascinated by people. I like to think that I have been blessed with the gift of observation. I feel like I notice more about my surroundings and about people around me than many others do. My mom said even as a kid I would be fine to just sit and watch people. I'm totally cool doing that too, I like watching how other people interact and seeing how they react to different situations. 

In high school I thought about going into sociology once I got into college, but I didn't wanna work for the government (which is basically all you can do) so I decided not to. I love anthropology, psychology, sociology, history, you name it. Anything that deals with people and what they did or currently do. I think that is why I love books, tv, and movies so much is because they are stories. I'm actually really passionate about figuring out why we think and act the way we do. I feel like by watching lots of different kinds of people it helps me figure out myself in the process. For example, sometimes when I see someone react a certain way to a situation, I think about how I would react to the situation and try to figure out why my reaction would be different. What leads me to react my way, and what leads the other person to react their way. Might sound nerdy but I think it's pretty cool. 

People watching has actually helped me become a less judgmental person. Instead of judging why people are doing what they are doing I just think there is an underlying reason (or reasons) to why they act a certain way. Nobody is perfect, and people act a way for a reason. Yes, we can control our actions. No, we shouldn't blame our behavior on our situation. But things that happen to us influence our personalities and behaviors. This world would be a better place if people stopped judging each other and cut each other some slack every once in a while because you never know why people are doing what they are doing. 

I am really into Buddha. 

Laugh all you want but Buddhism contains a lot of really good philosophies on life and has actually helped me become a better person in my opinion. As they say in Sons of Provo, "Mormons can be Buddhist too." Here are some Buddhist quotes I really like that pertain to this subject:

"What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman in the midst of this world, where each person is clinging to his piece of debris? What's the proper salutation between people as they pass each other in this flood?"

"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill."

That's all :)

Killjoy

I know I haven't written in a while. Sorry about that. My advanced writing teacher has killed my desire to write. I used to love writing. I wrote poems, stories, lyrics, beginnings of books on my views on life, etc. Thanks to Professor Miller, however, I no longer find joy in writing. Thanks a heap coyote ugly. 

Today I got a paper back with a grade on it. I knew when I turned in the paper that it wasn't awesome, but I did the best with what I had. "Professor" Miller gave us a paper with a brief explanation of the assignment on it and said "do it" and that was about it. I call her a "professor" because she doesn't teach or expound on anything. All she does is hand out assignment sheets printed on lime green paper and tell us to do them with almost no explanation. I don't see how anyone could get a good grade on these assignments when we can't possibly know what is expected, or really even understand what the assignment is. Anyway, I didn't get that great of a grade and after reading her comments I felt like shiz. She basically wrote an entire page of comments, most of which she used to call me stupid. She didn't come right out and say it, but that's the gist of what she wrote. I have never had a teacher call me stupid before, but let me just tell ya it's not the greatest feeling in the world. 

I have always had problems feeling inadequate at school ever since I started college. Everyone seems so smart and talented that it's easy to compare yourself and feel like you fail by comparison. My mom calls it comparing your weaknesses to their strengths. I'm at the point where I feel like all I have is weaknesses, since apparently I'm stupid and not high enough caliber to be in an advanced writing class at BYU (which she also implied). Teachers aren't supposed to make students feel stupid or hate a subject they once loved. 

I'm sure that once this class is over I will start to like writing again since it won't be graded by an evil wench anymore. Time will tell I guess. 41 days to be specific. I put a widget on my phone to count down the days till the class from Hell is over. 

Other things I'm counting down to:

My 21 Birthday: 117 days

Going to see Hunger Games: 23 days

The end of my best friend's deployment: 320 days (that's a guesstimate)

That's all for now but I'm sure there will be more later. Sorry for the rant but this is my life :) Enjoy

The Silver Lining

Wow I can't believe it has been almost a month since I have written a post. I start a lot of journal entries that way lol. I'm not the greatest at writing when I don't think there's anything interesting to say. The thing is, you can always find something interesting to talk about. The key is finding the person who will find what you're saying as interesting lol. 

My life is pretty monotonous. Work is stressful. School sucks. Family always keeps me on my toes, most of the time in a predictable way though (sounds contradictory but it's not). My advanced writing class is making me hate writing. Academic writing that is, I still love to free write. I am glad that I decided to keep writing a hobby because if I went into it as a career I would despise it, and that would ruin it for me. There is one thing that always makes my day after a crappy day of work and school, and that is The Office. 

When Steve Carrell left The Office it went completely downhill. Nothing about it was funny anymore. However, the last few episodes have made me laugh more than I have in a while. I mean, Dwight has a gigantic monster baby with Angela, Jim pretended like he was murdered by shady people in a hotel room (one of his best pranks EVER), Dwight had appendicitis but stayed in a meeting in hopes of a promotion to the point that he passed out, then went to the hospital, then came back to the meeting right after the surgery. If you have never seen these episodes you may not think these sound very funny, but when you hear the dialogue and see the context of the situations you can't help but literally laugh out loud. 

Also, I have found that I use retail therapy quite frequently lately. Whenever I get super stressed or depressed I buy things. Sometimes it is small stuff, but lately it has been more expensive stuff. I have impulse purchased two jackets, two pairs of jeans, and some new running shoes in the last two or three weeks. I can't help it! But don't worry, sometimes I purposefully leave my wallet where I can't access it when I go places so I won't buy anything. It's effective even though it makes me mad sometimes lol. 

Anways, this is a really lame post but I will have a better one next time :P Hopefully it won't be a month before I write again. 

Making Kodak Moments

Life is about experiences. Life is nothing without doing amazing things and creating memories. Lately I have really been wanting to play tennis, since I haven't played in so long, and it reminded me of one of my favorite days. I don't remember how old I was, maybe 14 or so. My sister Brittany was about 16 I guess. We really wanted to play tennis but it was pouring rain. So we did what any teenagers would do. We found some of our crappiest tennis balls, grabbed our rackets, and went to the tennis court anyway. I don't think I have ever had more fun playing tennis than I did that day with Britt in the pouring rain. In fact, I have a lot of really good memories of playing tennis with Britt.

I remember one time when I was about 16 or something, it was really late at night. It had been snowing for a long time but it had finally stopped. My sisters and I decided to walk to Nielsen's Grove park in Orem, which was about a five minute walk from our house. When we got there, the entire park was covered in deep, untouched snow. Needless to say, it didn't stay that way for very long. We played in the snow until we couldn't feel anything anymore and then trudged back home. I loved that night. 

I guess what I'm learning from all these memories that are coming back to me is that my sisters are awesome and I should hang out with them more, even if they are old and married now lol. 

Amy, Leann, Me

Brittany, Me

Tara, Me

Me, Tara, Amy

Cat, Me

 

 Very crappy picture of me and Cat

 

Sadly, I don't have any pictures of me and Holly but she is hilarious. Don't think I forgot about her.

Anyways, enjoy

Freedom Isn't Free

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Today is also the day that my best friend was deployed to Afghanistan. He will be in Texas for a little bit at first but then be flown over to Afghanistan. Dealing with this is possibly one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. There is a chance he many not come home alive. There is a chance he may not come back in one piece. There is a chance that he will be psychologically traumatized by what goes on over there. You never know. 

I was lucky enough to be born an American, where I have freedoms, rights, and opportunities. I think a lot of times we take our blessings for granted. I know I do sometimes. Our rights and freedoms did not come for free. Millions of people throughout history have fought for freedom and given their lives for it, like Martin Luther King Jr. I have been feeling very grateful today for all the people who have made my freedoms possible, and it really opened my eyes to how ridiculous we can be sometimes. People at work today were more concerned about getting a good deal on a snowboard instead of realizing that there are more important things to be worried about, and definitely more important things to get upset about than me not accepting a coupon that expired over a month ago. 

I wish it would be easier to encourage people to open their eyes and realize all the wonderful things they have in their lives. Yeah, nobody's life is perfect, but if it was there would be no room for growth. We go through trials for a reason. We are obviously supposed to learn from every moment in our lives, especially the bad times. It helps make us stronger as people. I know having my best friend in Afghanistan for a year is going to be tough, but I know we will both be stronger people because of it. I can only hope and pray that God will protect him and if it is his will, that my friend will return home safely. And I really hope that he does.

Moms are Great

This is me and my mom at my high school graduation

 

Isn't she a babe? I think so. I think my mom is great. She is possibly the most amazing woman I know. She is a single mom who, while going to school full time, was working a full time graveyard shift at the hospital, and taking care of 7 children. Now she is graduated and working as an accountant and continues to be a stellar mom in my opinion. 

My mom is always there for me. Anytime I am sad, frustrated, mad, happy, or anything she is there to listen to me and give me the best advice when I need it. Prime example was last night when I really needed some advice and had nobody else to talk to, my mom talked to me for at least an hour and was completely supportive and gave me perfect advice. I don't know what I would do without her. 

My mom is an amazing, gorgeous, talented, sweet, spiritual, loving, fun person and I am very lucky to have her as my mom.